So close your eyes and think of the following people: the Queen, Michelle and Barack Obama, Judi Dench, Jess Phillips MP (love,love,love), journalist Caitlin Moran ( love, love, love), Angela Merkel, James Corden, Olivia Coleman .. oh and Rose, a handsome midlife woman I met recently who works in the care industry (I’ll explain in a moment)
Got the link yet? No?
They all exude happy high status. If you want to know more read the amazing book “How to Own the Room” by comedian Viv Groskop. She argues that almost any issue in life or work can be dealt with through developing happy high status. It’s especially good for bullying or challenging work situations.
The good news is anybody can develop it and when they do they protect their mental/physical health and reduce stress levels. There is so much research now linking high stress to a range of physical illnesses: it’s all to do with the inflammatory response. We owe it to ourselves to work hard on this trait now.
James Corden on fat shaming
I believe that anybody can develop their own version of happy high status. Watch this clip of James Corden reacting to a US talk show host who was encouraging people to “fat shame” https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/james-corden-fat-shaming-bill-maher-response-late-late-show-video-a9103746.html . He responds in a thoughtful, dignified manner clearly laying out, with humour, this guy’s complete lack of humanity, responsibility and compassion. So powerful and a really good example on being comfortable with yourself and dealing with nasty comments.
My heroine: Rose
Then there’s Rose. One of the most mesmerising, beautiful, graceful women I’ve ever met. She epitomises Maya Angelou’s words in the poem “Still I Rise”
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs.
She exudes happy high status; despite the fact that for some bizarre reason in our culture we don’t always assume that care work is a high status occupation. Rose is having non of it, she believes wholeheartedly that she is doing the most valuable and important job in the world – she does it with dignity, grace and bucket fulls of kindness and compassion. She’s right up there with the best of the best and a fabulous role model for others.
How to do happy high status
So here’s my happy high status manual – give it a try and watch the magic happen:
- Work hard, every day, on yourself. Nobody is perfect. Get to love your imperfections – it’s often by embracing these that we make ourselves more accessible to other people. If you do nothing else in this world learn to love yourself -it’s worth the investment. It makes the world a better place as people who love themselves don’t feel the need to bully, troll or hurt others. It’s a win:win!
- You can’t change other people. If you work with “ass****s leave, or change your attitude. Don’t just moan; take some action and leave them behind. (life has taught me that karma is real – sit back and watch it unfold) Every second you spend trying to change their view/behaviour/attitude towards you is a waste of your precious life. Don’t do it.
- Be honest, speak your truth and always act with integrity – this is what will get you through in the end. Be brave and work on allowing people to not like you. It’s really fine – imagine how awful you’d feel if Nigel Farage thought you were a great person and shared your views (shudder). As tough as this is, not minding if people like you or not is the key that unlocks your power and authenticity.
- Say “no” way more often and don’t over explain – sometimes you can’t do something. That’s enough.
- Find your tribe and invest time, effort and love into people who hold you up and will provide the protection and comfort from the two points above.
- Laugh everyday. Always try and see the funny side and do something you love doing.
Have a lovely lovely week wherever you are. London is bathing in the most glorious Autumn sunshine. It really is a beautiful city.